The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He felt like a one man threesome
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize