okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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