Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
