I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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