Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
