I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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