does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
