I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Boobs speak an international language.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
