Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
