My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
