Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
