last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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