youre lurking in front of me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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