hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
