Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
