You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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