Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
