My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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