distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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