the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
