So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
