just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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