allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
