Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
