Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
