was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
