so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sober January is a disaster.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
