Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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