She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
