Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
