I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
