Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
