Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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