That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
