I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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