I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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