I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
