He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
