he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
