hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't turn off my feet"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
