Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Come see our sink grown plant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Boobs are out for the taking
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize