sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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