Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
