She said her name was "party"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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