I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
