i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
