In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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