erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This baby is an asshole
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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