He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
