is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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