Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
