Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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