Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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