I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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