Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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