You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
