Having a random hookup so left but love u
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
