Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
