So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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