chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
