We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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